after all this time

credit: 銀行
i've grown up 
with a recurring dream:
i'm floating in a river
carried by a current
i cannot see or feel.
my body a rag doll
to the unfeeling child
called fate.
without realizing it,
i've submerged,
yet feel nothing
just as before.
i thought maybe,
after all this time,
i'd violently awake
as my ethereal lungs
filled with cold water,
but i still gently float
to the sandy riverbed,
hardly feeling a thing.
my eyes open slowly,
heavy with tears.
it used to affect me
when i was much younger.
but now,
i simply wipe my tears
and let the current
i cannot see or feel
lull me back to sleep.
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